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wFriday, September 06, 2002

Current Music: Chatting with Lauren
Talked with Lauren tonight. I extreme talk between the two of us. Something that we really needed to have. I got a lot off my chest and so did she. We actually have a lot in common and we could relate easily to certain situations. I guess as I sat and sobbed on the phone with my mom, that I really thought about a lot of things. And it hit me really hard that, I'm 19 years old, soon to be 20 and I simply have to grow up. I can't sit around and cry about every little thing that bothers me. I should address it because most of the time, things can be worked out. And it was worked out. In fact, I feel closer to Lauren. I really thought about what things I do, and noticed that I'm really being a hypocrite saying how I can't stand how she's a "slob" and so forth when I am no better. And really, its not that bad. I think it was the whole, "other people feel annoyed, so I guess I should too" sorta thing. I mean, yes, I will admit at first, I was annoyed, but I talked to her.

We can't change other people and we should never have to change for anyone. And really, the person who is the completely opposite of you can turn out to be a really good friend. And I truly think that Lauren will be a good friend to me. I feel comfortable sitting down and talking to her and saying " know..." and going on about how I'm feeling or if I just wanted to sit and cry, she wouldn't care. In fact, I went into her room in tears and just sobbed for a few minutes before I actually talked to her about everything and anything. And she completely understood where I was come from and why I felt the way I did. I truly believe that she means well and that if we do say "hey Lauren..could you..." she will help. We have to live our lives as we see fit and we can't be constricting by rules because other people don't like someone for who they are. I dealt with things like that for nearly all my life with being picked on in school. And she made a good point where, standing in front of a person and continuously listing what's wrong with her isn't going to help that person. You just need to sit down and say "Hey..." and ask them and help them along the way. I know I'm still like that and people have to ask me stuff all the time.

I felt horrible after thinking about everything. Thinking about how much of a hyprocite I was being. Thinking about what gave me the right to think and say things about her that I myself do/did all the time. In fact, the first weekend, it was her and I in the apartment and we had a blast. There's nothing wrong with Lauren. Lauren is Lauren and she's my friend. I mean, yeah, we still have to get to know each other more, but we'll be okay. I think as long as there's one of us who feels comfortable sitting down and talking to her, we'll be okay. At least now I know I can be a mediator between the four of us.

posted by Kellie at 11:49 PM


Current Music: DDRMax2 7th Mix Nonstop Remix
Perhaps things are going to be okay with Lauren. :)

Oh...and...I GOT A FREAKIN' PERFECT ON MY CHEMISTRY SAFETY QUIZ!!!! was only a safety quiz, but I was one of like...six people who got PERFECT papers. ;)

I forgot what I wanted to say. rofl Must not have been important. Got all the viruses off my computer. :D Gotta love viruses. ::pelvic thrust::

posted by Kellie at 7:15 PM

wThursday, September 05, 2002

Current Music: DDR Max 2 - Living in America
Once more having aggervating bouts because of roommate issues. It just seems like its not working. No matter how much we all try. Its just...sometimes I just wanna gauge my eyes or something. Its just...baah. It makes me not wanna live here or go to this school anymore. And I'm so BORED. I'm serious. Its so completely boring and just...blah. I can't stand it. All I do is do school work and sit on my butt and stare at the computer screen. Lauren owns the living room nearly all the time and when you do get a chance to do anything, she wants it back. I can't stand this. I really can't. I'm pissed off at her now and I hope she realizes it. I tried being patient and nice and I'm trying to help her, but she's not doing her own part and carrying her own weight. Its REALLY pissing me off.

Baaah...long sucky ass day tomorrow. First chemistry lab tomorrow too and a small presentation in abnormal psychology on cognitive paradigm. Fun times there. @_@ I just wanna crawl into my bed and never get up. Prolly not going to the Ren Fest on saturday because...well...Margie can't go, Nicky can't go and I don't wanna go without everyone. So, I won't go. And I really can't afford to just throw money around like that right now. And I have a lot of work still to do. @_@ Stupid school. Sometimes I hate college and want to stab it with a spork!

posted by Kellie at 11:57 PM

wWednesday, September 04, 2002

Current Music: DDR Max 2 - Stay
Yep! An early morning post. I think I had a lot to say, but for some reason, now I don't. Imagine the possibilities. Maybe its because I'm still half asleep. Anyway, I have my long day today, 9-3. Yay. ~_~

I've decided I think I'm going to put myself on a slight diet and I'm going to start working out in the evening with Nicky either with DDR, ParaPara or with Tae Bo (once we actually buy the tapes). I am damn determined to get into shape. Mostly for Otakon and so forth. AND!! :D Since I'm starting to actually try stages in DDR on maniac, that will help in the process since your feet move like 928374928374 mph. I think at least by the next Otakon, I could get down to like...150-140 if I work uber uber hard. And no, I'm not going to starve myself either. That's just a retarded way to lose weight. Not to mention its not healthy at all. I was thinking about an all seafood and veggie diet since I'm not really a red meat kinda person. But I found out that red meats have a special thing in them that your body needs that you can't get anywhere else. So I guess I have to have at least once serving a week of red meat. Other than that, I'll stick with seafood and poultry. Mm...chicken. No soda (cept diet and perhaps the occasional vanilla coke *_*), no candy (not like I eat any in the first place unless its of those health chocolate bar thingers which are actually really good.) and no junk food of any kind (except popcorn and pretzels). I can survive. And really if I wanted any snack food, only eat the serving size suggested or smaller.

I have so much to do its not even funny. I have to do even more reading..still! I have to work on my chemistry pre lab stuff, watch a video for chemistry which I'll probably do this weekend, start studying for my chem test next friday, work on a Psychology proposal idea for a paper due in November, start on my portfolio for Graphic Design so I can meet with Professor Rodgers, do painting crap, make people cds, figure out what I need to take for my psychology minor, send her package out so its not late and bah...I'm sure there's more. So, you see where my time goes. However, I have more things to distract me now on my computer. Downloaded a SNES emulator which has ... *____* Super Mario Brother All Stars on it! YAY!!! I need to find and buy a controller to hook to my computer so I can actually play with ease. I also downloaded Secret of Mana and Final Fantasy 2, 4 and 6 (I think). Mmm..nothing like old school goodness. Go go pixels!

So, I tried to get comments working last night, but since my free server doesn't allow comments and crap, I couldn't. So I just said heck with it and decided that my tag board was good enough right now. So, yes, I have to get ready for my 9:00 chemistry class. And today, according to my York Calender is the last day to enter, switch or add classes for the semester. ^_~ Enjoy!

Oh..and apparently...I'm the "lesbian" of the apartment. LOL!!! Nicky, Lauren and Margaret all have significant others while I am flying solo. Lauren is also a cooter smelling slut. ROFL This was our moment of hyperness before we went to bed last night. I also got into a highlighter battle with Lauren and won. Mwahahaha! Go go green highlighters! And I'm started to get really good at Frequency.

posted by Kellie at 7:53 AM

wMonday, September 02, 2002

I had a post in here earlier today, but my computer at home got all messed up. Anyway, my mom bought a new car today. Meaning, as soon as the jeep is fixed, it shall be mine! Yay! I can't wait. It will make me feel even old then I already am. Haha. So, I did some things this weekend. Got some reading done for school and got some cleaning done for mom. I told her the rest she can just shove into my closet (which isn't that much; just little things) and I'll take care of it at a later time.

We had a roomie meeting when everyone got back and everything got straightened out. I also had a one on one talk with Lauren this weekend and straightened out a lot. I think if we just help each other along, we'll be fine. I think we're all going to go the PA Ren Fest this weekend coming up. That will definitely be a lot of fun! I'm glad everything got straightened out.

:( I feel bad for Nicky. She seems to be dealing with a lot of crap right now. I wish I could help, but I really don't want to add to the seemingly pointless drama that tends to be flooding her life right now. She has enough to deal with. I'm just glad I can be there for her if and when she needs someone to just spill to. I hate drama and I'm glad I don't have a dramatic life. I guess that's why I'm so good at helping people who seem to have that so-called drama. Perhaps I should be a psychologist. ::snicker::

So, anyway, I'm still doing homework. Actually, I'm doing some Vis Comm reading for tomorrow's class. I have a lot to do this week with both school and other things like send a certain someone something. :) Hope you had a good time at Anime Expo! I hope you did too! Hope to see you guys at Katsucon and Otakon!! Speaking of cons, I have to start working on my costume. @_@ Aiyee.

posted by Kellie at 11:24 PM