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wThursday, June 26, 2003

We're going to Outback for dinner tonight. I'm so thrilled. I'm so tired of incompetence. I know I'm not the brightest crayon in the box sometimes ... but some people around here make me look like the biggest neon yellow piece of wax wrapped in paper you've ever seen. I'm serious. You can tell them something over and over and over and yet they still do what they want. And you know who gets in trouble for it? Not them! Me. Because they're sitting downstairs in client services messing up my job.

This weekend, I'm going to JoAnn's and no one's going to stop me. I don't care what it is. I'm going. I need to. I need to finish Cassidy. I need to send my measurements to and I need to get stuff to start Belle. Its not even a choice anymore. I have to do it.

I think for Nekocon, I'm going to make a Sumomo costume and a Fujin costume. Yes .. Fujin from FFVIII. Making the shuriken is going to prove to be interesting and fun. Probably make it out of stiff matte board and what not.

I need to style Cassidy's wig. I'm just going to do it. I talked to my hair dresser who said it will prove to be easier to style it on the styrofoam head I have. So I'm going to pick up some gold wire (as suggested by Cybelle) so I can make sure the pigtails stick out full on each side and then use some elmer's glue. I have some left from when I built the cake for church.

I'm tired. I don't feel like driving home. I don't feel like stopping for gas. I don't even feel like being here at work anymore. But unfortunately, I have to stay. It sucks. I'm ready for the weekend.

Oh yes ... I think I'm going to make FF-themed icons. Maybe FFVIII ones, but I'm keeping my Beatrix icons.

posted by Kellie at 5:58 PM

wSunday, October 06, 2002

Ya know... I just realized something. I have so many journals its not even funny.

Personal Journals:
Old Journal/Cosplay journal
Old private Journal (deleted)
Weight Progress Journal

Character Journals
Kera (Harry Potter)
Kera 2 (Harry Potter) (deleted) (deleted) (deleted)
Kera 3 (Harry Potter)
Ayumi Shinichiro (Private SL)
Ayumi Shinichiro 2 (Private SL)

I really do have no life. @_@

posted by Kellie at 11:29 PM

wThursday, October 03, 2002

baaaah.....-_- one person can only think so much.

Last saturday, I found out my grandfather is being tested for prostate cancer. I'm praying everything's going to be okay. My uncle died last night of a massive heart attack. Funeral and such are this weekend. I have to find my vaccination information because my college is STUPID and lost the information. I'm so pissed off its not funny. I just wanna kill something or at least break something. the words of Nicky I'm "periating like whoa" and its making me feel even more shitty. Thinking about some things. Ya, school, bi-sexual tendencies..the usual things. Why is life so frickin' complicated? Why can't you just press a frickin' button and BAM! There's your life. >/ Damn you difficulties!!

posted by Kellie at 7:15 PM


::smacks bored with a wet tuna!:: >O -_- I'm bored with blogs and journals.

posted by Kellie at 3:42 PM

wWednesday, October 02, 2002

I have a hole in my sock.

That's about as interesting as my life gets right about now. College is boring, online time is boring...everything is boring. =/ I feel very little ambition right now for some reason. Not sure why, I just don't. I come back from class, do some work here and there or sit and play video games. There's nothing else much to do besides go to Walmart or Taco Bell at ... 11:00 at night or later. I look forward to going home on the weekends sometimes when I do go home because I have more fun at home than I do here. The weekends here are always boring and I like being at home. I'm really thinking about just forgetting about going to York and working to get my grades up and transferring some place else next semester. Possibly Villa Julie since they were going to accept me before I came to York anyway. I could go there now. I have a car, so I wouldn't have to worry about waiting for my parents to come and pick me up or drop me off. When I mentioned it to mom, she wasn't so hesitant about it as she was before. Maybe because she really does see that I like being home. I don't know. Being away from home just doesn't seem to be the thing for me anymore. Yeah, its freedom and independence, but I really do like being at home. I'm just...more comfortable at home. I dunno...I've had a lot on my mind lately about numerous things. Money, Grades, My grandfather possibly having prostate cancer. If he does, there's no doubt in my mind that I'd do whatever I had to do to come home and go to college at home. My graphics teacher suggested me looking into University of Maryland Baltimore County because of this new computer animation course they just started. So, I might do that. But its supposedly a huge school in a not so good part of town. I dunno...I think I'm PMSing or something because I was in painting today and got all teary eyed over a few songs that I usually don't get all teary eyed about. =/ *sigh*

My cold's subsiding slightly, but I'm not completely cured. Hopefully I'll be fully cured before the con next weekend. Going home this weekend to work on my Xu costume and basically finish it with the trim work and collar work. Next weekend is AnimeUSA in Virginia with Sami and I've got a Chem test next Wednesday and a Psych test next Friday. So, I really need to get to the library soon. Need to buy another art box this weekend at some point so I can put my art stuff in it.

Nicky's going through some rough times apparently. =/ I feel bad for her because there's really nothing I can do except be a good friend and be there for her. Bah... @_@; I hate feeling so blah. I need some PMS medication or something.

posted by Kellie at 10:51 PM

wSaturday, September 28, 2002

Hey! =D My blog's already a month old! w00tness!

posted by Kellie at 11:09 AM


I feel that vomit way. =/ I hate post-nasal drip. Its nasty as hell. >/

I do; however, have the undying urge to paint. o_O; And draw like whoa. I'm buying Kingdom Hearts today because I'm tired of people rubbing in my face how much it rocks. Although...I could wait for Christmas and get it then and buy the new SIM game instead. ::ponder:: I did tell my mom all I wanted for Christmas was a Nintendo game cube. ROFL This was the conversation:

Kellie: Mom...I decided on what I want for Christmas. And its the ONLY thing I want.
Kellie's Mom: What's that?
Kellie: A nintendo game cube.
Kellie's Mom: Why?
Kellie: Because I want one. It's nintendo!
Kellie's Mom: How much is it?
Kellie: I believe in the $200 range?
Kellie's Mom: So, you'd have one of almost every game system?
Kellie: ... Yeah. Pretty much.
Kellie's Mom: Okay. I'll write it down.

The only thing I hate about PS2 and I think NGC games is that they're like..$40-$50 a piece. @_@; I'd go broke just from buying games and DVDs. =/ Speaking of nintendo, I wish I could find my original nintendo system in working condition. I'd hook that shit up and play like whoa. I have an emulator on my computer back at schoo, but its hard as hell to play with the keyboard. I need to get a controller to hook up to my computer. I also need to get my DDR pad soon too. @_@; So much to dooooo. Actually...its more a long the lines of so much I'd like to have. >>;;; ROFL

So, I have to decide between the Sim game and Kingdom Hearts...*sigh*

posted by Kellie at 11:06 AM

wFriday, September 27, 2002

Wow...its been a while since I last updated. Tuesday consisted of class from 9:30-12:00 as usual and me doing absolutely nothing the rest of the day. Wednesday and Thursday I felt horribly icky and rested both days. Went to Manheim, PA with Nicky, Jake and Shaun on Thursday to play some DDRMax2. @_@ Traumatic experience driving there. I hate rain...that's that. Woke up this morning feeling crappy than ever. Almost didn't go to class until I called my mom who prescribed hot lemon tea, more medicine and pretzels. They all helped greatly. Especially the tea. Got Anole his food before heading back to the dorm and packed some stuff up and then me and Nicky headed home. Hit Maryland rush hour traffic. Yay. -_- I hate traffic in MD. It sucks worse than NY traffic. Stopped by Nicky's house to drop her stuff off before heading to White Marsh Mall to play some Max2. =/ I felt bad though 'cause I had to leave after playing one round of DDR with her. I REALLY wanted to stay, but mom asked me to make sure I was home for dinner since my step-dad made a special dinner just for me. Hopefully we can get together on Sunday and do some DDRing before we drive back up to York.

I hate having a cold. Especially the first few days because they kick you in the butt...HARD. I sound like a clogged up fog horn and someone who's been smoking for like..years. @_@ I hate it!

Really have to talk to mom about my costume for AnimeUSA. I'm determined to get it made. >/ I wanna be Xu damnit!!!

Anyway, this weekend consists of...nothing so far. It'll be a last minute sorta thing. It always is. But that's usually more fun. I'm probably going to bed now since I feel like crap run over.

posted by Kellie at 11:34 PM

wTuesday, September 24, 2002

Which Piercing are you?


posted by Kellie at 5:16 PM


I'm so tired of immature bullshit. I'm tired of bending over backwards for people to make sure everyone is happy. I'm not trying to be selfish in this rant, but does anyone think about my sanity. Yeah, I like to help people and I'm not going to stop, but I'm just tired of people taking help for granted. I'm tired of working so damn hard to make sure things can turn out somewhat right, I'm just ready to scream. I just wanna jab a pencil into my fucking eye and bleed to death. I'm simply tired of putting in that extra effort to wipe someone's ass when something is wrong and no one can deal with their own problems. I'm tired of it all. I'm ready to just...stay in my room forever and come when I need to go to class, go to the bathroom, shower and perhaps eat. Right now, I want to crawl under a fucking rock and stay there because I'm just so annoyed, pissed, angry, sad, sick...just.. I'm ready to fucking kill something.

My roommates can't get along for shit and I'm pissed off to no end at it. I'm trying to hardest to fix problems that they seem to be having, but I can't do it alone and no one seems to be helping. I'm not doing this on my own anymore. Yes, I'll be there for them if they want to talk bout a problem they're having and give them advice on how I think they should handle it. How it would be best to handle it. But I have not the strength to continue pushing myself to make lives better. It can't be such a one-sided ordeal. People need to take responsibility for their own actions in life. You can't count on other people for it. I'm sorry, but I don't have the time nor do I have the energy to be that person to carry you on my shoulders. You need to carry yourself.

I'm sorry I can't be those wings that can carry you to perhaps a better place, but I can be that shoulder for you to cry on. I can be that person that if you need a hug, I will be that embrace. I cannot be your savior though. I cannot and I will not. I'm human, I'm not perfect. No one is. If you expect perfection, then I'm afraid you won't find it here. I am who I am, I do what I do. I'm sorry if its not good enough for you.

posted by Kellie at 12:55 PM